the bay


photography requires confrontation. something i’m not well versed in naturally (see: enneagram nines). my camera helps me directly face my thoughts and engage without reservation.

but it also rewards empathetic, even passive observers. i love when people are comfortable enough with my presence that they forget I’m there entirely. i’ve struggled lately with the idea that society rewards and praises assertive/extroverted/outspoken people (women) most. but all temperaments can speak equally when speaking visually.

photography isn’t about the photographer herself, but without force or choice, you get to experience her literal, quiet perspective of the world for just a moment.

jess was helping me understand that in the way that some people speak, sing, or write to communicate, we photograph. i withhold a part of myself when i don’t shoot- choking my relationship with my own creativity, and at the same time, with people around me who only want to know me better.

that’s why photography can be a bit painful for me. it’s vulnerable to be seen. it’s hard to share something that i don’t deem worthy. but withholding, i’ve learned, is much harder.

“To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable.”

― C.S. Lewis, The Four Loves

6 thoughts on “the bay

  1. Watching your creative side grow is one of the most beautiful things I have witnessed, and I am honored to have any part in your understanding of it’s place in your life. I believe that your photographs do just as your personality, being a “peacemaker”, and offering a place to settle for whoever has the pleasure of viewing. Embrace your subtleties, it’s what sets you apart from the rest. Our world is so full of noise, and your images give a place to rest.

    1. I totally agree with Jess. Your photographs reflect your comforting spirit. You capture this sense of calm in your photos in a unique way that’s hard for me to articulate.

      I really relate to what you said about feeling vulnerable by being seen. I feel that way about both my writing and my (limited) photography endeavors. I, too, am working toward understanding what it means to foster my creativity and put myself out there in a way that still feels true to who I am.

      P.S. I took the Enneagram test recently, and one of my types was 9 too. I don’t fully know what they mean yet, but I was 9, 2, and 6. 🙂

      1. thank you erin! being honest and open to judgment is not easy. it’s helpful to know that we’re all going through it. let me know if you land on a number, i could talk about it forever!

    2. you’re going to make me cry at work. forever grateful for your support

  2. You don’t know me but I am an old friend of your “in the beginning” family and have been following your incredible work ever since. My dog Cassie and Ciuccio were great pals. I have no words to describe my reaction to the beauty you share with us but you have my distant gratitude. After 15 years in Italy we have lived in France for 10 and I still go back you your “in the beginning” for a lump-in-the-throat nostalgia fix. Thank you.

    1. Hi Suzie,

      I’m so honored! To be honest, I review that post often as well- it brings me back to such a lovely time in my life (and I miss Ciuccio!).

      Thank you so much for taking the time to write. It’s such an encouragement to hear that these simple photos can stir up connection and joy.

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