it has been months since my last post, and not accidentally. i have had a bit of a falling out with photography in the last few months. during it all, i.. graduated college, made a documentary on a cross country road trip with (mostly) strangers, had stress induced medical problems, tried to be content with unemployment (wasn’t, and so i), volunteered, got a job, finished a job, and tried to tackle photography once more.
i’ve just been trying to understand what i’m meant to be doing if something in my heart is telling me that it won’t be taking photos. God has been slowly revealing plans and giving signs in ways that only He can. i feel a call to be serving others somehow and have felt this way ever since i came to san francisco. i pushed it to the back of my mind for so long, but after too many signs add up, it just becomes wrong to ignore.
the following photos are from my first photo project in weeks, and it was quite a fitting event. instead of going to church last sunday, my entire church spent the day volunteering in the city’s toughest neighborhood, the tenderloin. it became a beautiful opportunity to help, build relationships, bring some hope, and talk about God to a community in desperate need of Him.
i was excited to give shooting another try for the event, but my nerves grew at the thought of talking or sharing my lack of a story with strangers who probably wouldn’t even want to hear it. but somehow, i met two men who taught me more than i could have imagined trying to teach them. maurice, marcos, and i met on a corner and began opening up to each other. maurice quoted more bible verses than i ever could, and i knew that marcos needed to be reminded of God’s love for him that day.
now, coming from a person who has a deathly fear of praying out loud or even talking about religion, believe me when i say, a miracle happened on that corner. for some reason, i just knew i had to pray for marcos, and he quickly accepted. it doesn’t sound like much at all, but for me, it was completely out of character. yet- perfect. i usually focus more on what i sound like and less on what i’m actually praying for, but the words just came in the most authentic way. tears came to both of our eyes as he explained how i changed his day, but if only he could understand how much he changed mine.
i think i know what i’ll be pursuing more seriously (while still shooting), and i’ll work on posting more to share any news and avoid these dramatic pauses..